Spare a thought for the Australia Post philatelic division. Having bitten the bullet in 2000 and deciding to issue a postage stamp featuring every Australian gold medallist at the Sydney Games, they have now stretched their policy to include the Winter Olympics and Commonwealth Games.

That’s sixty-seven new stamps and counting at M2006. I’d been wondering which of Our Jana’s sullen expressions was going to grace her 50 cent stamp, but instead we get an image which only vaguely looks like her.

But harking back to Torino 2006 for a minute, we can at least hold our heads high with the knowledge that Australia is the first country to feature a spyware millionaire on one of its stamps. Word of warning however: for the Aussie Dale Begg-Smith stamp to stick to the envelope, you have to spit on the reverse side…

The medal tally after Friday night’s episode of the Channel Nine reality show “The 18th Commonwealth Games” reads as follows:

Australia 12 gold, 9 silver, 8 bronze.
Rest of the Commonwealth 17 gold, 19 silver, 21 bronze.

The way Channel Nine are covering these Games you’d think it was really Australia versus the Rest of the Commonwealth. Just think, if it wasn’t for the women’s weightlifting we’d probably be in front now.

Anyway, I’m supporting Mozambique in Melbourne 2006. I have a perverse admiration for any former member of the Portuguese empire that can jump ship and take part in an anachronistic relic of the British empire. Their women’s basketball team has already played its first game, losing narrowly to England by 84 points to 46. They take on the Opals tomorrow night. I can’t wait for that one!

Meanwhile, Ximene Gomes finished last in her heat of the 100m freestyle with a time of 1:02.16, the 33rd fastest time overall out of 43 finishers. She’ll be back on Sunday in the 50 free. Her idol, according to the M2006 website, is Fidel Castro.

Don’t scoff too much at Mozambique, however, for they do have 800 metres track legend Maria de Lurdes Mutola, who will be aiming for her third CG gold medal in Mozambique’s third Commonwealth Games. Check out www.flmutola.org.mz if you want to see her official website (in Portuguese, of course!)

My enjoyment of Melbourne 2006 peaked early. The sheer joy of explaining an opening ceremony to your three year-old daughter is something that cannot adequately be put into words. To Adara, it all made sense: the flying tram, the absurdly colourful clothes of some of the nations, the big red dragon on the Welsh flag (”I want to see the dragon again, Daddy” was to be heard frequently on Wednesday night), Ron Barassi walking on water, Dame Kiri singing Happy Birthday to the Queen. (”When’s the Queen going to sing, Daddy?” “She doesn’t sing, Adara, she’s a Queen.”) At least she distracted me from having to listen to the inanities of Ray Martin and co.

There’s some great coverage of the opening ceremony on ausculture.com here and here, so I’ll just stick to a few highlights, lowlights and other observations:

The Queen looked utterly, totally bored.

Someone should have told Prince Philip to shut up and sit still.

Where was the Governor-General, and why was the Prime Miniature usurping his position (silly question, sorry)?

It was great to hear one of the finest Australian songs ever written - “Under The Milky Way” by the Church - but why was it accompanied by a ballet of kids on BMX bikes? If Nicole Kidman was on deck it would have been understandable…

Ron Barassi walking on water with the baton was infinitely more whimsical than all the Leunigisms on display all evening.

That kid who grovelled to HM before introducing Ms Te Kanawa’s rendition of the Hill sisters’ famous ditty was the nadir of the evening for me.

The Australian uniforms were appalling. Not for the first time, of course.

The last three carriers of the baton were the Mayor of the Gold Coast, the Governor of South Australia and the Governor of Victoria. I’m not sure how to put a punchline to that observation.

And did I hear the aforementioned Ray Martin describe one of the flag-bearers as a “skoot sheeter”?